Les persos s'écrivent! (en anglais)

Bon, j'ai pris ça sur livejournal.com, fort sympatique ^^.
J'ai fais une ou deux modifications pour que ça marche sur forumactif, mais c'est tout... Amusez-vous follement!

Oh! Et puisque je suis la première personne à poster ici, j'ai pris le nom de Victor pour écrire ma lettre... En théorie, vous devriez prendre le nom de la personne qui a écrit au-dessus de vous.

Dear Victor,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok at the mental hospital when I saw you ignore manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a new life as a clone.
Go burn,
-Ismeraude De La Bourgogne-

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Dear (the last person who left a post on this page),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ when I saw you ____4____ __5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - our romance is over
Red - our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - you're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - that night
February - last year
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - when you put cuffs on me
July - when I threw up
August - when I saw the shrunken head
September - when we skinny dipped
October - when I quoted Santa
November - when your dog ran amok
December - when I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Pizza - in your camping car
Pasta - outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad - as you ate enchilada
Chicken - in your closet
Kebab - with Paris Hilton
Fish - in women's clothing
Sandwiches - at the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a state of trance
Other - with George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - hit on
Red - insult
Black - ignore
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - put leeches on
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the toupee off
Barefoot - sit at
Other - drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my best friend
White - my father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - my fart balloon
Purple - my mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - my avocado plant
Yellow - my penpal in Ghana
Orange - my Kid Rock-collection
Pink - manchester United's goalkeeper
None - my John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - the crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - man
O.C. - emotional
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
House - scarred
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - mongolic
Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - senile
Top Model - middle-class
Other - ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful I've felt
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that Santa doesn't exist
Angry - that your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - that there is no solution to this.
Nervous - the middle-east
Worried - that your Honda sucks
Apathetic - that I did a sex-change
Ashamed - that I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - that I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - that I'm open
Other - that Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your ring
Yellow - your love letters
Red - your Darth Vader-poster
Black - your tame stone
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - the pictures from LA
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your contact book
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - your old lottery coupons
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your photo
C/D - the oil stocks
E/F - your neighbour Martin
G/H - my virginity
I/J - the results of your blood-sample
K/L - your left ear
M/N - your suicide note
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - always will remember
C/D - never will forget
E/F - always wanted to break
G/H - never openly mocked
I/J - always have felt dirty before
K/L - will tell the authorities about
M/N - told in my confession today about
O/P - was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - told my psychiatrist about
S/T - get sick when I think of
U/V - always will try to forget
W/X - am better off without
Y/Z - never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- our friendship
Beer - senility
Soft drink - a new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - the apartment building
Wine - cocaine abuse
Cider - a passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - to ruin the second world war
Other - to hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain

Mon dieu, c'est tellement étrange O_o. Surtout que j'avais jamais songer à la couleur des sous-vêtements de mon petit roi O_o. Pour la chambre non plus, mais je trouvais que l'élément associé à yellow était marrant alors...

Dear Ismeraude,
I don't really know how to tell you this, (hum, étrange, normalement Lexichou hésiterait pas à lui dire en pleine face) but i dislike you. I think I realized it that nigth I was with Paris Hilton, (Il fallait bien qu'il compense pour la froideur depressive de sa reine...) when I saw you ignoring my best friend. (La scène devait se passer dans un cimetière... facile d'ignorer un mort) I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that your imples are at the last stage. (Comme a son habitude, il fait dans l'insulte grauite) I'm returning your love letters to you, (Oh mon dieu! révélation!) but i'll keep your photo (ou un portrait, ou go figure) as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember your cocaine abuse. (Avouez que c'est le style de Ismeraude ça...)
In pain,
Alexandre the Fourth, king of the holy city of Urua

Edit Ismy la cocaïnomane: Mdr!! XD C'est tellement mieux avec explication!!

Dear Alexandre IV,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it that night n your camping car when I saw you castrate my best friend. I'm sure you're high enough to understand the middle-east. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that Ialways will try to forget eggplant-fetishism.
Your everlasting enemy,
Chris Békenzy

Dear Chris,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it that night at the Hare Krishna graduation when I saw you pull the clothes off my best friend. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a new life as a clone.
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
-Hachi-

Nyoh oh oh! Le roi est poursuivit par la mafia et Chris et Hachi ont l'air d'avoir des secrets intéressants! Comme c'est amusant ...

*Sort.*

Dear Hachi,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds in your camping car when I saw you knock out Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning your Darth Vader-poster to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of Oprah Winfrey imitations.
With ease,
-Naomi-

Dear Naomi,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a loser. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds with George Bush and his wife when I saw you drive out my best friend. I'm sure you're mongolic enough to understand that your Honda sucks. I'm returning the cut toenails to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I always have felt dirty before cocaine abuse.
In pain,
Selena Mussolini

C'est pas ma Selena ça

Dear Selena,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting (... d'accord,peut-être que ce que Edgar veut te dire Selenea, c'est que tu as quelquechose dans ton nez.. O_ô ) . I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds (la magie de l'effet placebo, les enfants) at the mental hospital (Ça me m'étonne pas, vu avec quoi Edgar se drogue, là) when I saw you pull the toupee off my father (euh...O__ô). I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand That we're cousins. I'm returning you ring to you (GASP! Inceste entre cousins!), but I'll keep your photo as a memory (ça fait vraiment scénario de tragédie de téléroman, là, avec l'anneau et les photos...¬_¬). You should also know that I get sick when I think of embarrassing rashes (qui ne serait pas mal à l'aise avec ça??).
Fuck off now,

Edgar Randell

Donc, si j'ai bien compris, Selena et Edgar sont deux cousins fiancés, mais il rompt les noces en voyant qu'elle a quelquechose dans son nez alors qu'elle enlève la perruque de son père alors qu'Ed se drogue aux graines de sésame à l'hôpital psychiatrique.... ¬¬;;;

Un mot: LOL

Dear Edgar,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa in women's clothing when I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I _told in my confession today about eggplant-fetishism.
Go burn,
Steinbeck